Shortened Question: <\/strong>Am I in a Halal or a Haram Relationship?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Question:<\/strong> Asalam Alaykum how are you doing? Dear Imam and Alim, I’m confused. I’m investing and trying so hard for 4 years to get married with a sister who’s 32 years old while I’m 29 from my home country overseas in middle east and now I’m concerned if I’m in a halal or haram relationship . We aren’t having any haram talks or conducting any video chat except we did a few times to verify and guarantee we aren’t scam. Her parents still don’t know about me because we aren’t ready to let them know as I’m having some job-related problems and she has told me her parents is requiring saving up 2,500 dollars for her mahr as she said her parents require it and for plane tickets travel to propose for her parent for way too long and we are so scared to present that to her parents because we are afraid they could reject me right now at this moment due to my temporary fixable job problem and not having her mahr ready. Are we in a haram relationship at all? Should I immediately stop talking to her? We would never do anything haram or conduct video call or talk about inappropriate things , or flirt , or send pictures as we never did or have or ever will . My only intention with her is to marry her in the most halal way and be with her forever InshAllah<\/p>\n\n\n\n Answer:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n As-sal\u0101mu \u2018alaykum wa-rahmatull\u0101hi wa-barak\u0101tuh.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It is not permissible in Shari\u2019ah <\/em>to maintain contact with a ghair mahram<\/em> (one to whom marriage is permissible) woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Allah Tabaraka wa Ta\u2019ala<\/em> says in Quran Majeed:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u200c<\/p>\n\n\n\n [\u0627\u0644\u0625\u0633\u0631\u0627\u0621: 32]<\/strong> \u0648\u064e\u0644\u064e\u0627 \u062a\u064e\u0642\u0652\u0631\u064e\u0628\u064f\u0648\u0627 \u0627\u0644\u0632\u0650\u0651\u0646\u064e\u0627 \u0625\u0650\u0646\u064e\u0651\u0647\u064f \u0643\u064e\u0627\u0646\u064e \u0641\u064e\u0627\u062d\u0650\u0634\u064e\u0629\u064b \u0648\u064e\u0633\u064e\u0627\u0621\u064e \u0633\u064e\u0628\u0650\u064a\u0644\u064b\u0627<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do not even come near to fornication. It is indeed a shame and an evil way to follow.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n (Surah Bani Israil 17:32).<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Communicating with each other in secret opens the door for the Shaitan <\/em>to start playing on your nafs<\/em> and try to confuse you.<\/em> This free access can lead to quarrels and disagreements with each other, which may result in the relationship breaking off. The was- wasa<\/em> of Shaitan <\/em>may motivate you to take it one step further, then another step until zina<\/em> starts taking place. In either of these cases both of you will be losers, while the Shaitan <\/em>will be the winner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It appears that for the past four years your main focus has been how to acquire the Mehr<\/em>, to enable Nikah <\/em>with the sister. Whereas, in principle, payment of the Mehr<\/em> is not a condition for the validity of the Nikah<\/em>. The Mehr<\/em> should be paid at the time of the Nikah<\/em>. However, if both parties agree then the payment of the Mehr <\/em>may be deferred to a future date.[i]<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n The Mehr<\/em> is stipulated by the woman. This amount must be accepted by the man so that both parties agree on the value that was stipulated.[ii]<\/a> However, after four years it seems that you are still unable to acquire the agreed amount of the Mehr.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Based upon the current situation we suggest that you immediately discontinue this Haram <\/em>relationship. You should request a more affordable and less strenuous Mehr.<\/em> You should consider making the Nikah<\/em> with the sister, only when you are able to support a wife financially.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And Allah Ta\u2019\u0101la Knows Best<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n