Shortened Question:
Because I am losing my Iman, I sometimes I tell myself that I am very sharp and very smart and I commit a lot of sins and then seek forgiveness.
Question:
Sorry my English skill is bad. I am from Burma (Myanmar). I am a first year Philosophy student.
Something I assume myself that I know everything, I am very smart and I’m very sharp and all which leads me to this day that I’m losing my Iman. I know that every sins will be forgiven that’s y I always do sins and I seek forgiveness (which is not good for me). And today is Shab e barat and I didn’t pray a single Rakh of Namaz. And didn’t recite Qur’an and did all wrong and negative things. I watched porn. I listened music and all that types of Duniyabi thing…..And now it’s 1:58 am, feeling guilty and crying but I don’t have wudu and my room is full of mess. Inshallah I will Guzal first and start praying Namaz. Is ok, but I know I will do sins again tomorrow. May be not tomorrow, but I will definitely do more sins because I am addicted to porn, addicted to cigarettes, addicted to speak lies, addicted to use bad words, addicted to show off .
May Allah guide me to his good path this time for last long. Ameen.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We acknowledge your concern and we commend you on your desire to give up committing sins. This is a sure sign of your true Iman.
Sometimes there exists inside of us a war between our nafs (our desires) and our Iman. Our nafs wants to dominate our Iman and cause us to commit sins. Likewise our Iman wants to overpower our nafs and to keep us away from sinning.
You mentioned in your query that you do all types of sins and then you seek forgiveness. It is mentioned in a Hadith of Rasulullah Alayhi wa Sallam, the meaning of which is, “That one person wanted to join the gathering of Rasulullah Alayhi wa Sallam. Upon joining the gathering, he told Rasulullah Alayhi wa Sallam that he left his camel outside (without tying it) in the care of Allah Ta’ala. Rasulullah Alayhi wa Sallam told him to go back and tie his camel. Thereafter he should return and join the gathering.”
A very important lesson from this Hadith is that before doing an act we should look at the consequences that will result on account of that act of ours. Likewise, it seems that you are allowing yourself to commit these sins just to satisfy your nafs. Instead of just casually committing sins with the intention of making Tawbah afterwards, you should foresee that these sins are a sign of disobedience to Allah Ta’ala. You should therefore try to avoid committing them altogether.
The Qur’an Majeed states:
فَاسْتَقِمْ كَمَا أُمِرْتَ وَمَنْ تَابَ مَعَكَ وَلَا تَطْغَوْا إِنَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ
So remain upright, as you have been commanded, and he who repents with you; and do not transgress. Truly He sees what you do. (Surah Hud 11:112)
In this Ayat, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam and the Muslims are commanded to stand firm upon the command of Shari’ah. They should stand firm in everything that they do and under all conditions. They should move ahead straightforwardly, while remaining within the limits that are set by Allah Ta’ala. The concept that Allah Ta’ala sees and knows everything that they are doing should remain fixed in their minds at all time. Muslims are commanded to stand firm in all aspects of life, in matters of beliefs, acts of worship, personal and business transactions, morals, ethics, in everything.
You should adhere to these commands and as soon as you tune into that pornographic site, ponder over the fact that Allah Ta’ala is watching. Would you then be comfortable doing it, knowing that Allah Ta’ala is seeing what you are doing?
Allah Ta’ala says:
إِنْ تَجْتَنِبُوا كَبَائِرَ مَا تُنْهَوْنَ عَنْهُ نُكَفِّرْ عَنْكُمْ سَيِّئَاتِكُمْ
If you abstain from the major [sins] out of what you have been forbidden from,
We shall write off your minor sins – Surah Al-Nisa’ 4:31). (Ma’ariful-Qur’an, Volume 2, pages 405-410)
Tafsir al-Bahr al-Muhit has reported, that even minor sins are only forgiven by doing good deeds, when one feels ashamed of having committing these sins. One then makes a solemn resolve not to repeat these sins in the future. It is also very important that one does not insist on committing these sins at all.
If you were not able to make any Ibadat during Shab – e – Barat then all is not lost. You should search for Layla tul Qadr in the odd nights of the last ten nights of the Holy Month of Ramadhan. Try to increase your Ibadat on these nights.
Shaikh Hadrat Mufti Mahmud Hasan Gangoli Saheb (Rhamatullahi Alayhi) says:
When somebody asked him about the cure for Takabul and pride, he would tell them,
“When you go to the toilet, see what comes out from you. It is impure, it gives off a bad odour. If that is within you, then what rights do you have to feel superior to others?”
Here are few Du’as that, Insha Allah, will help in your reformation:
[سورة الأعراف: 23] ( رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنْفُسَنَا وَإِنْ لَمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ ) (1)
Translation: (1)
Our Lord, we have wronged our souls, and if You do not forgive us and grant us mercy, we shall be among the losers.
اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَنَا ذُنُوبَنَا كُلَّها
Translation: (2)
O Allah, forgive us all our sins, whether minor or major, whether open or secret, the first and the last, the outward and the inward.
(3) O, Allah, bestow on our souls their (Taqwa) piety. Purify them, for You are the Best of those who can purify them. You alone are their Guardian and Master.
Allah Tabaraka wa Ta’ala says:
{أَنَّهُ مَنْ عَمِلَ مِنكُمْ سُوَءًا بِجَهَالَةٍ ثُمَّ تَابَ مِنْ بَعْدِهِ وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَنَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ } [سورة الأنعام: 54]
Verily, whichever one of you sins out of ignorance and then repents and amends Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah An’aam 6:54)
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Saeed Ahmed Golaub
Islamicsolutions.org.
