Student in Love


Ex-girlfriend has new affection, but still loved by old boyfriend. What should old friend do?


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu `alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

The Shariah prohibits free mixing between ghair mahrams (men and women with whom marriage is permissible).  It is forbidden to have intimate relationship outside of marriage.

From the outset you should understand that every form of promiscuous interaction with the opposite gender out of marriage is haram. This is a clear ruling of Shariah.

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) says that you should not come near to zina.[1]

Apart from zina being a sin, staying away from it is a means of protecting ourselves from emotional turmoil. You yourself are an example of this. Look at the emotional turbulence  you are in.

If you had followed Shariah you would not have been trapped as you are now.

Use this as a lesson from Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala). Make taubah and repent and make niyyah to change.

You have sought permission from the girl’s parent to get married to her. Everything is based on taqdeer.

If the girl is meant for you, well and good, if not accept it.

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) says that at times it is possible that you may dislike something whereas that is not good for you.[2]

Do not follow something that is beyond your control. It is like wanting to jump to the sky.


And Allah knows best.

Mufti Saeed Ahmed Golaub

Islamic Solutions




[1]{ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا} [الإسراء: 32]

[2]{كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرْهٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ } [البقرة: 216]