Shortened Question:
What Islamic book on Parenting can you suggest to my wife and I who shall, Inshaallah, be parents soon?
Question:
My wife and I shall, Inshallah, be parents soon. We would like to raise our child according to Quran and Sunnah. Can you suggest to us an Authentic Islamic Parenting Book?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The following are a few guidelines in raising children:-
1) When the baby is born, the Adhan should be called in the right ear, not too loud to cause discomfort to the child.
2) The Iqamat should be called in the left ear.
3) Tahnik. That is to have a pious chew a piece of date and then put same in the mouth of the child and make dua for the child. Honey may be substituted if dates are not available.
4) An aqeeqah should be performed for the child on the seventh day of its birth. The child should also be named on this day. (For example if the child was born on Thursday the following Wednesday would be the 7th day)
5) The hair of the boy should be shaved and the equivalent weight of the hair in silver should be given in charity.
6) Ensure that the child is breast fed. Milk has a great effect on the life of a person.
7) Do not instill fear in the child by mentioning the names of people that scares them for example the police. This is an evil habit and it weakens the heart of the child.
8) Ensure that the child is clean at all times. This leads to good health.
9) Do not excessively adorn or beautify the child.
10)Do not allow girls to wear jewellery before she starts wearing pardah. This could be dangerous for her. It is also not a good habit to create a love for jewellery in the mind of the girl at a young age.
11)Inculcate the habit of giving in your children. Hand over to them things that you have for charity so that they will distribute these to the poor and needy. Give them sweets etc. to share with their other brothers and sisters.
12)Speak to them about the harms of over eating.
13)Teach your boys to wear white clothes and create a dislike in him for colourful clothing.
14) Do not let girls worry too much about parting and plaiting their hair and wearing clothes that is too fancy.
15)Refrain from fulfilling all the desires of the child. This will make the child become spoilt.
16)Prevent your child from speaking loudly or from shouting, especially if it is a girl. You should scold her and reprimand her.(Bahishti Zewar By Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (RA) Vol.1 Pg. 500-503)
The following book is very helpful on this topic:-
Parents and Their Role in the Upbringing of Children by Moulana Musa Ahmad Olga
For further reading see also Bahishti Zewar by Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (RA) Volume 1 Page 500 -503
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Saeed Ahmed Golaub
Islamic Solutions
Jamaica
