Shortened Question:

Is it permissible in Islam to divorce because you know longer feel love and affection for your wife?

Question:

I am a Muslim man who got married to a woman with an illegitimate child. My wife also had another illicit relationship which lasted for three years. We got married because I did not see it as a problem. We are now expecting a baby, but I notice that my feelings towards her have changed.  Now I am getting flashbacks about her past life and finding difficult to live with her. I feel disgust with myself for what I have done.

Is it permissible in Islam to divorce your wife because you no longer feel love and affection for her?

If so what is the procedure?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Alhamdulillah, brother you have found a woman who is honest enough to tell you of her past mistakes. It takes courage for someone to admit that she has not been living a righteous life.

Inspite of your wife’s past habit of having illicit relationships she had consented to marrying you and is now pregnant with your child. Now you are intending to give her talaq because of her past life. However, it appears from your explanation that you were adequately informed of your wife’s past experiences before getting married to her.

She was honest enough to reveal to you even her illicit relationship of 3 years with a Christian man from whom she did not conceive. She could have concealed that secret from you and you may have no way of discovering that.

After being fully informed of her past you thought that you could handle and tolerate her and you married her. After going through all of that now you are having a flash back of her past.

What about the flash back  that you will have of your commitment to marry her, sleep with her and get her pregnant through the sacred institution of nikah? Now you do not want to dump her only, but to dump your child as well because of your own weaknesses.

You should consider this carefully. What about the commitment that you had made to her? How will you justify that in the Court of Almighty Allah? What about the wellbeing of your child? You are leaving your child to live in a non-Islamic society without the father. Who will be there to guide the child in religious matters? What if the mother finds another partner? What will become of your child?

If you did not want to marry her then she should not be carrying your child. It seems that you first fulfilled your desires with her and now you are saying that you cannot manage it anymore. This is indeed a cowardly attitude.

If you made a mistake in your decision you should live with it. Why should your wife and your child suffer because of your mistake?

There are no grounds in Shariah to divorce your wife. It is the right of your wife and your son that you honour the commitment that you have made to them.

By carrying your child your wife is engaged in a great act of Ibādat. She is obedient to you. Her past sins are between her and Allah and have no bearing on you. Fear Allah and honour your commitment. You cannot dump your wife and child after satisfying your passions and desires with her.

It is clear that your nafs and Shaitan are weighing heavily on you and overpowering your sense of justice and fairness. Control your nafs and seek refuge in Allah from your nafs and Shaitan.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mufti Saeed Ahmed Golaub

Islamic Solutions

Jamaica