Friend who likes Cousin

Shortened Question:
What advice should I give to my friend who likes her cousin?
Can I first please ask for this question not to be posted online? So my question is… I have a friend who likes her cousin. My friend and her cousin’s family frequently visit each other, and as she has told me she feels terrible Everytime she sees him as he ignores her. She asks for my advice as to what she should do. I know that it is wrong for her to have these feelings, but I can’t tell her straight up as it might break her heart (which is not right).What advice should I give her so that I wouldn’t commit a sin and neither would she?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Shariah permits nikah (marriage) between cousins. Therefore, it is incorrect for mature cousins of opposite gender to be socializing freely and without hijab.

Explain to your friend the wisdom of the laws of Allah Ta’ala in maintaining hijab and lowering the gazes.

Intermingling of members of the opposite gender has many harms, one of which your friend is now experiencing. The intermingling lead her to be attracted to her cousin and now she has to deal with her feelings for him. That causes anxiety and pain. Hijab safeguards one from such negative consequences.

Advise your friend to make Taubah for the intermingling and adopt hijab. In time her feelings will be balanced. By continuously seeing her cousin, she will be adding salt to her wounds and harming herself.

If both families visit each other then you should emphasise that your friend avoid contact with her cousin. She along with the other female members of the group should confine themselves to a separate room from the males.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mufti Saeed Ahmed Golaub
Islamic Solutions

{قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ (30) وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَى جُيُوبِهِنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَائِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَائِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي أَخَوَاتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَائِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُنَّ أَوِ التَّابِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُولِي الْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ أَوِ الطِّفْلِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا عَلَى عَوْرَاتِ النِّسَاءِ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِنْ زِينَتِهِنَّ وَتُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ (31)} [النور: 30، 31]