Should I Give My Wife Talaq

Question: Should I give my wife Talaq?

Shortened Question:

My wife is continuous in Zikr reciting “Ya Jabar”. Should I give her Talaq?


My wife is in continuous zikr. Reading ya Jabar. From 8pm till 12am. Then from 4am to 9am. She does not see to our children as they always crying. They hungry and have not eaten. She then start her Zikr from 5pm till 8pm only stopping for Salah.  

I have tried speaking to her but she screams at me and insult me calling me ugly name and dirty words. I have tried having a parents speak to her but with no help. She has on her own separated her bed from me now 3 weeks. I can’t speak to her and even asked her I’d she not happy with me I can offer her a talak. Her response while screaming is she doesn’t want to speak to me. I don’t know what to do this is been going on for 2 years now. Emotionally it is draining on me and the kids. I don’t know what to do.

Medical help was sought for her she refuses treatment.

Should I give her talak?


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We acknowledge the grief and depression that you and your children are experiencing for losing connection with your wife. We make du’a that Allah Tabaraka wa Ta’ala will make things easy for you and your family and grant you relief very soon. Amin.

Nikah is a very big investment and a great bounty from Allah Ta’ala. Through this union of marriage, both partners will derive peace and solace from each other. Unfortunately, at times there may be problems in the relationship. During those difficult times one needs to exercise patience. You mentioned in your query that your wife has confined herself to making Zikr and is less inclined to satisfying the needs of her family. This is the time when your wife is most in need of your love and affection and your kindness towards her, as she is experiencing her difficulties. Although she may not understand the reality of it because of her very challenged predicament.

Take note of the words of Allah Ta’ala in Quran Majeed:

{وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ} [البقرة: 45]

And seek help through patience and prayer. (Surah Al-Bakarah 2:45)

Brother, whomever from among you and your children have the ability to do so, we implore to recite Surah Al Fatihah seven times over a jug or a glass of water and make du’a for Shifaa for your wife. Then blow into the water and have her drink it. If you fear that she might be resentful if she discovers what you are doing, then perform this task secretly without her knowledge.  

You should also perform Salatu Hajat. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam is reported to have said that whenever any from the children of Adam Alaihi Salam has a need from Allah Ta’ala, he should perform two Rakats of Salat, glorify Allah Ta’ala and His messenger Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam. Then he should recite the following:

لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ الْحَلِيمُ الْكَرِيمُ، سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ، وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ مُوجِبَاتِ رَحْمَتِكَ، وَعَزَائِمَ مَغْفِرَتِكَ، وَالْغَنِيمَةَ مِنْ كُلِّ بِرٍّ، وَالسَّلَامَةَ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ، اللَّهُمَّ لَا تَدَعْ لَنَا ذَنْبًا إِلَّا غَفَرْتَهُ، وَلَا هَمًّا إِلَّا فَرَّجْتَهُ، وَلَا حَاجَةً هِيَ لَكَ رِضًى إِلَّا قَضَيْتَهَا يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ “

The Translation of which is:

There is none worthy of worship except Allah, the Most-Forbearing, the Generous. How perfect is Allah, the Rabb (Owner) of the Magnificent Throne! All praise is due to Allah, the Rabb of the worlds. O Allah I beg You for all that invites Your Mercy, and the means of securing Your forgiveness, and the benefit from every good deed, and safety from every sin. O Allah forgive every sin of mine, remove all my worries and fulfil every one of my needs with which You are pleased, O Most Merciful of those who show Mercy.

“Thereafter he should ask Allah Ta’ala for any need that he may have in this world or the next.”

Brother, we do not think that Talaq is the solution to the difficulties that you are faced with currently. You have a relationship with your wife which only turned sour over the past two years. Think about the good times that you shared together in the past. Think about the children. What would become of them if you and your wife were to be separated?

Ponder over the situation and try your endeavour best to adopt the character and the conduct of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam said that “The most detestable of all permissible acts to Allah Ta’ala is divorce.” Instead of pondering over issuing your wife Talaq try to use nice, loving and caring words when talking to her.

Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam said:   

ارْفُقِي فَإِنَّ الرِّفْقَ لَمْ يَكُنْ فِي شَيْءٍ قَطُّ إِلَّا زَانَهُ، وَلَا نُزِعَ مِنْ شَيْءٍ قَطُّ، إِلَّا شَانَهُ»

سنن أبي داود (3/ 3)

Be polite as politeness only makes things beautiful.  And the absence of politeness from anything increases it in unpleasantness. (Sunan Abi Dawud)

You mentioned that your wife refused medical attention. However, we strongly recommend seeking the assistance of a trustworthy associate of hers to discuss with her the idea of seeking medical attention. We also make du’a that she will comply. Amin.

Brother please take note that Allah Ta’ala used six days in which to create the universe and everything in it even though He could say, كُنْ فَيَكُونُ “Be” and it would be done instantly.

Allah Ta’ala is showing us that some matters will not be resolved instantly.

This is obvious from the lives of the Ambiya Alaihimus Salam.

After the disappearance of Yusuf Alaihi Salam his father, Hazrat Yacoob Alayhi Salam entered into a state of grief and depression. Yacoob Alayhi Salam cried until he lost his vision. Nonetheless, and after many years he regained his vision.

Hazrat Ayoub Alayhi Salam was inflicted with sickness for approximately eighty years. During this time he lost his entire possession, including his children. When he recovered from this test Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala blessed him with even more children than he had before among other things.  

The manner in which you and your children address your wife during her period of difficulties is of paramount importance. Choosing the wrong approach may result in further resentment. Take the time to listen to her and emphasize that you are concerned about her and about your Nikah with her. Be careful not to give the indication that you only care about your happiness.

Seek help from Allah Ta’ala with abundance of Du’as. Make Du’a after your Fard Salaats and at the time of Tahajjud Salat. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam mentioned that Du’as are accepted by Allah Ta’ala in these two times.  Engage in Istighfaar abundantly. Allah Ta’ala grants ease and comfort through the recitation of Istighfaar.

Practice upon this advice of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam said:

«خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي»

سنن ابن ماجه (1/ 636)

“The best among you is the best to his wife, and I am the best to my wives.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)

May Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala grant you and your family easy and comfort in your times of difficulties. Amin.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mufti Saeed Ahmed Golaub